Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, & the Indians

Don't You Shiver.....

2009-04-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

I come home in one week. My flight will touch down in Norfolk, Virginia at 3:12 pm. Shes going to pick me up, and I will be happy again.

Im going to the Sandbox

2009-03-24T12:50:00.000-07:00

I found out this week, that if you are going to be stationed at Langley, you have to get medically approved. Now this struck me kind of strange, because in the Air Force, when you have to have medical clearance, that means your going to an overseas base. After some questioning, I found out that only two state side bases require clearance, because they are highly deployed. After more investigation, I found out that I am most likely going to be going to Iraq, or Afghanistan by the end of the year for at least 120 days. I personally am kind of looking forward to this, but at the same time I can't say im not scared. Pray for me if your religious, lord knows im not.

Today was...

2009-03-17T19:34:00.000-07:00

a really really good day that I haven't had in a long time. But it ended in one of the worst things that could ever happen to me. In respect to the party involved im not going to be "highschool" and bitch about it online and embrasses people. Its bad...thats all im going to say and I don't know how to handle it. Im devastated.....

The day started out really well, with I finding out that when I graduate I get to come home...and stay home. Yes, Im getting stationed at Langley Air Force Base Newport New, Virgina. Its just far enough from home, and close enough. Plus I can still take temporary duties in other counties, so I can still see the world. I mean im so lucky. Really. Oh and did I mention that the plane that Langley has is the F-22 Raptor, the most current fighter jet the world has seen. For those who don't know, its the plane in big budget movies of late like "Iron Man", and "Transformers". I was so happy today, I was giddy to the point of shaking. To top it off, various minor things throughout the day kept going my way. Than I had the worst news dropped on me. If you want to hear about it feel free to call me, in fact I would like that, so I can have someone to talk to about it because I don't know what to do......Its going to be a rough few more weeks. All I know is I better get some Pruitt Nags Head Beach House treatment the week I get home with my boys. I need me some Beer Pong tournaments, and some games of landmine more than ever.

dirty....

2009-03-10T18:16:00.000-07:00

Mike Rowe of "Dirty Jobs" apparently did my new job in the air force. I would of embedded it, but Discovery Channel stops me from doing so.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ALHwJsIHYE

random thoughts from a nicotine addict

2009-03-01T19:16:00.000-08:00

I really don't think anyone reads this. I saw the "Watchmen" last night for free here on base. I want my two hours back. Im not going to lie, I was giddy when it started. I actually walked out before it was over. I understand now why Alan Moore, the author, wants nothing to do with it, and his name wasn't in the opening credits. Im not going to lie, the movie starts out really good. I give the director credit as well for actually redoing many frames from the graphic novel. But the Finale, which you cannot change or a major plot line and metaphor of the story, was completely rewritten. Oh and yes this graphic novel is extremely graphic in nature, but I mean common. Some of the action scenes were like watching a gore shocker horror film. I must say in all seriousness...fuck this movie.

Im supposed to graduate April 7th, which I plan on comming home. I am no longer going to Mountain Home, Idaho. Im getting a new assignment, which gives me a decent chance of getting Langley. Ive been informed with how the Air Force gives assignments, and to make a long story short, I have a chance of getting Langley. This would make me a little happier because I could go to Richmond, or home to see friends on the weekends.

Im looking into buying a car as soon as im settled in my permanent assignment. Im almost siding with getting a Mazda 3, for its fairly low price and pretty good gas mileage. I may just still settle with a Jetta though.

Ive been going to the gym whenever I feel up too it lately. I don't want to be some big guy, I just want to look decent. Its bad enough im hairy, I might as well look ok with it. It would be cool to be able to crush a mans skull in my biceps though. I am however in the best shape of my life seeing as the Air Force is making me run 2 and a half miles three days a week in under twenty minutes.

I just want to apologize to anyone whom I consider a dear friend to me for not seeing them very much, or at all over my Christmas break. I spent all of my time with a girl whom I thought I was going to marry, and her family. Because of that I barely saw my own family, and didn't see most of my friends at all. I wish I could go back and play that out again. I would of saw all of you instead of wasting my time with someone who decided afterwards that they can't be with someone who is in the military, like its some kind of bad life. Fuck it, lesson learned, I will see you all in two months. I promise this.

We Got Six

2009-02-02T20:05:00.000-08:00

First Team in NFL history to win six super bowls. It was also the best super bowl I watched in my 23 years of life.

new year

2009-01-13T18:35:00.000-08:00

I went home for the first time in six months for Christmas. Derrick I truly am sorry for missing you. I spent ninety percent of the time with Laura getting to know her family. I think Ive been accepted. I know her mother already loved me, but I had yet to of met her sister or father. I feel a little shitty for not seeing my parents or friend very often but we're trying to figure out if shes going to move to Idaho with me or not. Because of the we had to spend as much time together as we could. From what she says, I'm the only guy shes dated that her Father likes. Its just scary because I in all seriousness want to spend the rest of my life with her. But to be real....and im saying, lets get Real for a second. I don't want to jump into a marriage, but shes most likely not going to be able to move out there with me. I can't afford her, and she still has two years left of school, which I want her to finish. It just hurts because im scared too death that shes going to end up meeting somebody else that's better than me. Than I would slump back in to the drinking and smoking too much depressed Steve that everyone loves because hes funny, but unhappy. That and I would most likely slump into a major depression which would effect my job, which I would lose and ruin my life. I officially move to Idaho in 29 days. I think Ive just decided to volunteer for any and every deployment to the middle east.

2008-11-18T18:24:00.000-08:00

Bob Odenkirk and David Cross worked on a new show for HBO. Its pretty funny, and hopefully it will go somewhere. Im seriously starting to have some "Mr. Show" withdrawl.

2008-11-06T19:50:00.000-08:00

2008-10-28T19:17:00.000-07:00

Ive been in my technical training for two months now, and I still have three months to go. Jesus. Its starting to get really hard too. For instance we spent the entire nine hour day learning about Transistors, and were not done with them. Shits getting crazy. My plane ticket home is looking like its going to cost me five hundred dollars upward. Its worth it though. Im staring to go crazy out here being away from her. I really think shes the one. The only thing we've ever fought about was the fact that im here and shes there. If im stuck out in Idaho without her I don't know what im going to do. I found out the plane I will be working on is the F-15 Eagle. Thats kind of cool I suppose....I miss you if you read this Derrick...I think your the only person that does.

wow I can get sleepy too....

2008-10-12T21:08:00.000-07:00

Texas sucks. Thats right I said it Texans. The stars at night aren't big and bright. Its so windy here for reals though. I sometimes think I could fly away if I position my arms like wings at the right angle. Im learning how to fix electrical components to military grade aircraft. Think about that one....they are going to let me tinker with the million dollar planes you've paid for. Vote for Obama, so I don't have to go to Iraq. Or not, battle scars are pretty cool. I miss my lovers in Norfolk, my forty night partners from Richmond, and my special brown man. If you haven't heard im getting stationed in Idaho. On top of a Mountain. Laura wants to go with me. I want Laura to go with me. Shes my Green Eyes. I have forty dollars in my account because I bought a 360 just to play two games that aren't out yet. I'm currently reading Alan Moore's "Watchmen" which is quite amazing. Im confused to how its taken me this long to read it. I have no hair. I need December to come round so I can go home for a week or so.

2008-09-20T22:54:00.000-07:00

the air force sucks.... or not....I can't decide.

That girl is in Rilo Kiley

2008-06-05T08:48:00.000-07:00

"I love the power glove......its so bad."

The Love is Gone

2008-04-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

My computer is in the center of a soft drink graveyard, and it's at least ninety degrees in my room. I'm not sweating but I'm doing everything but, and I'm sticking to everything, it sounds like my skin is made of Velcro. Today I had plans to do something which I did but as ususal it lasted far shorter than I thought it would, so I spent most of the day bitching and moaning. I did a bit of pining too. Everyone that knows me, knows I appericate my pining.

The thing I did was take some very absurd photos, and I realized that I'm far uglier than I thought I was and that is never fun. I was under the impression I was a bit attractive in a swarthy-weirdo kind of way. This of course means I've either got to become a helluva lot more charming or actually watch what I eat. I thought just working out was good enough but apparently I still look like Shortround 15 years older, after gorging himself on several barrels of ugly sauce. Perhaps some horseshit tacos as well.

This leads me to my next point which is the pining. I say this pretty often, and I've been talking about this girl the entire year but good god man. There's too many reasons to like her. She's beyond pretty to me. She's the kind of girl that is immediatly intriguing and the more you notice the more you like. I could say all kinds of pervy things here really, just little hitches I find I love about women. But really I'm a laugh man, always have been. And she's got a great one, that is if she was really laughing the times I've heard it. It's not the sort of gross belly laugh that some people have, but it's robust. And it fucking destroys me when she throws her hand up to cover her mouth. I find myself logged into facebook constantly to abuse the new messager to have some sort of chat with her.

While all this is very well and good, there is no way on any plain of being she would consider me as a possible love intrest. Let's face facts here, I'm amusing in my own right but its not the sort of humor a lot of people really approve of. Espeacially attractive, smart, insanely nice, females. That's just not my demographic. I'm funnier to recluses, people who are virgins over the age of twenty, and my cousin Camile seems to think I'm a riot. At least, when I'm dancing with my pet monster and her, or chasing her around pretending I'm a troll. Sometimes I switch it up and I'm a cyclops. I comb my hair over in emo pirate fashion for this- any of you who knew me in tenth grade have seen it in it's purest form, I'm almost sure the right side of my face was lighter in complexion than my left during that year. Secondly, I'm not that attractive, I knew that before but now I know the depth of it and all I can say in the words of Senator Clay Davis is "Sheeeeeeiiiiiiitttttt". Third, if you've been reading this (Which if you have may god have mercy on your soul) she's amazing. The kind of amazing that when I would see her in class, or read a story she wrote I would create new nonsensical cursewords, and mutter them like an actual curse. I think this is how I came up with the curse word squid vagina. Seriously she is the female equivlent of being punched in the face constantly. Instead of fists its your inadequacies pummeling you. Did I mention she's fucking amazing? She can write, and is perpetually cheery and not in some abnoxious way, like most people with the bubbly bullshit exterior that stifles rather than does whatever the fuck it is they were aiming for. She's the sort of happy that makes me feel terrible for my constant bitching and moaning. Eventually bitterness and sarcasm will not pass off as charm or humor, and I'll be fucked.

But finally onto what may resemble a point, if you can even say that about anything in blog format- I actually spoke to her for quite sometime on the last day of class. I scrapped the speech I was going to give and even the card I made at the time. (Yes, I'm that much of a 4th grader) She's funny, and fucking reads. And she looks even better in glasses. Good god. I'll stop. Anyway, the conversation went well, even after thinking about everything I said for hours and hours. I only wish I would've spoken to her sooner some how, and been good enough to have any sort of shot here. I will have to make due with the apathetic contanct that is the internet.

Hopefully, tommorow the zoo is awesome. The most depressing thing is I'm quite sure I wont be meeting a girl of this caliber for years- if not ever. Yes, I'm being kicked in the jammies in that picture. And yes, it appears I'm trying to catch some sort of invisible baby. (I took the pictures for Pat Rothfuss's NOTW contest.) I thought this one illustrated this post best.

CAN buy me love!

2008-04-02T21:41:00.001-07:00

Ive been thinking about getting a mail order bride lately. If I knock her up, she can't ditch me when I bring her back to the states right?

Someone buy me a fulgin cloak?

2008-03-23T14:00:00.000-07:00

Hello to the three or four people who may still read this blog. Hopefully clicking the link with bright eyes brimming in the hopes of more musings from me, the always love-able Steven Jedlowski, Alex the "Spine-breaker", and Sir Zach of the Twelve Swords. While I do not share this sentiment in writing here, as always I should be doing something more productive, I find myself here again in my listlessness.
I have decided to enter as many writing competitions as I can this November, hopefully salvaging what I can of my terrible fantasy stories. It is very masochistic I think to do so, because I haven't thought about anything in my stories beyond broad outlines and sweet one liners. And swords, I have pages about swords, in all their phallic glory. Anyway I've chosen to write a 100 pageish "thing" for a sci-fi comp and right now it is probably the most obsessive thing I've done in quite some time. You know, aside from those women who have been unlucky enough to have me for a suitor. I'm sure I was a bit more freakish in my thoughts about them. Right now, I have three pages written which I have re-written in turn at least 18 times. In doing so I have ignored many of my duties even exercise, which I think is a poor choice seeing as how next week; I shall be a 22 year old virgin. Woe is me.
I'm reassured by the fact that this problem could be much worse if it went the other way, me as a 22 year old father. I could see my poor malnourished child now asking "Papa can't we have something to drink aside from shasta?", "Papa, I'm tired of eating lo-mien. Why can't I go play with the other kids instead of cleaning your action figures".
Anyway, as usual I have strove to keep my social interactions to a minimum. But with the return of one of the few whites I shall spare when I come into my power as overlord, I find myself leaving the house now and again. Lately, I have been reading nothing but fantasy and I'm pretty angry at myself for starting where I did. I did everything ass backwards, I read George R.R Martin's "Song of Fire and Ice" first, so now everything seems shitty in comparison, or at the most merely decent, when in fact it would be an excellent book at any other time. I've been reading a lot of Gene Wolfe as of late, and if you like Harry Potter you should check out Patrick Ruthofuss's "Name of the Wind".
Actually that doesn't do "Name of the Wind" any real justice. It is not intended for children and isn't written as such; the prose in the book is as wonderful as Wolfe's without being as complex, and the music in the story is crafted carefully. He takes the time to write things that read as they should be read. I don't know if that makes any sense to you but the book is truly great and it's just a bit of a disappointment that it didn't come out before Potter. Kvothe is a much better character and the system of magic, if you'll put on your wizard hat with me now, and call any familiar you may have at your disposal; is such that you can tell he agonized over every detail. It is not simply a matter of being such, or ripping off fairy tales (Although he borrows heavily from philosophy, and other ideas presented in other fantasy books for it). And finally you should read it because he's dressed up as David the Gnome at a book signing.
Anyway, I am still chubby and an idiot, although I think that my writing is improving bit by bit with every book I read and every terrible page I pound out. (I look at some of my old stuff and feel a bit ashamed as I'm sure I will of everything I ever write.) Hopefully someday I can write something worth publishing, and then make sweet love to it, leaving the book malformed with a greasy furrow between its pages, the covers bloated and bent by my penetration. This I will do to as many copies as it takes to distribute them to my friends, and on the inside it will read "With all my love". Yes, I just wrote those two paragraphs to make a prolonged semen joke.
I wrote this ignoring Robin Hobb's advice and for that I am deeply ashamed. I am now going to try and finish reading, and try to scrawl a few pages of drivel on the page. Drivel as such that should be written in feces I'm sure.

Oh My.......Nerd Overload.

2008-03-18T22:51:00.001-07:00

Snap, Crakle, and Pop

2008-03-14T10:21:00.001-07:00

2008-03-11T10:49:00.000-07:00

Last night at work I had to work the salad bar. Though the job still paid me the same amount, I sort of lost some self esteem doing it. You see, the reason being is every person who has ever worked the Ruby Tuesday salad bar is under the age of eighteen, and smokes massive amounts of weed. Seeing as they can do the job, I thought it would be pretty easy. Of course since were talking about me here, it wasn't. I happened to get the one monday night that was actually busy. It seemed like every five minutes someone was bitching about how im not refilling the "ham plate" fast enough, which just made me more pissed off because who the hell puts ham on a salad? I discovered later as well its not actually ham at all. Its turkey, but made to look like chopped up bits of ham, which made me think even more less of the meat. Than to top things off when I was cooking, people walked in at 9:55 last night and ordered the most annoying food too cook, once I had already cleaned up my line, and was ready to leave. The two ladies than sat around talking at their table for the next twenty minutes after their food was served to them, not consuming their dinner. This led to their food to lose its hot temperature. They than sent the food back, and told the server that I had messed up. Makes sense right? Now im not a religious man, but I did pray after all this had happened. I prayed to whatever god there could be, that these two peices of shit have everything wrong possible go wrong for them that would make their lives as terrible as possible, than for them to die in a painful car wreck. Now if there is a god, and he heard my plea, Im most certainly going to hell like Ive always joked that I am.

2008-02-23T20:11:00.000-08:00

The past few days have been a blur. Ive been informed by my recruiter that I must weigh 197 lbs by this upcoming Monday to make weight to join. I currently weigh 199, and in my scared state that the worst will happen, I haven't eaten a real meal in almost two days. All I have been eating to get me by is sticks of celery and baby carrots. If I do lose the two pounds, I will be getting a free hotel room for a night in Richmond because I have to get a physical the following morning there. Than a day later Im driving up to Richmond myself to get some more of my possessions out of the apartment. Im oh so hungry. I want a whopper with cheese.

2008-02-22T22:42:00.000-08:00

Steven,
When will you float home?

2008-02-14T06:59:00.000-08:00

A video of some of the hardest games with the worst endings ever. I mean really, most of these games are frustratingly hard, and the endings are completely horrid. At one point the video shows the ending to Friday the 13th, which is the only game on this video that I have completed. The ending is this unsatisfactory after all the hard work you put in to defeating Jason and his mother.

Antichrist Televison Blues

2008-02-11T00:49:00.000-08:00

Now despite the title I'm not very blue at all. It's a Arcade Fire song and yes I realize I'm jumping on the band wagon. Alright, I'm actually fucking the bandwangon. I am inserting my little penis all up in the music contained on the wagon. It's a good song I think, maybe a little Bruce Springsteeneee. That's the correct way to spell that trust me.

In other news I really have to say these things people refer to as "parties" still bewilder and frighten me. I feel as though I should come prepared with a little hand book full of quick one liners and I must constantly remind myself to look into peoples eyes and not at my shoes also to quit fucking with my hair. I swear I'm constantly moving it around and not really in an attractive way like the girl behind the counter at your local grocery store or something. But more like that fuck pushing around the car full of creepy dolls with missing limbs or cut out eyes. What happened to party games? I mean ones that didn't involve beer. Wheres some pin the tail on the donkey. Can we get a game of musical chairs going motherfuckers? Now that's party time. Maybe party bags with those little para-trooper army dudes. That'd beat some ass.

Anyway I'm still writing some crap. Yeah it's crap, feces, like from an ass. I think I'm improving sort of. With this amount of time devoted it better not turn out like pogs, or something. I worked so damn hard prefecting my super sweet slammer throw just to have my skills dashed against the brick wall of a failing fad. Fuck man I was the POGS ace. I just used the plastic slammers, son. The cute girl in my fiction workshop can write. And I really, really would enjoy talking to her. But that wont happen because I'd be lucky if I could get out the word "Hey" without saying something like "I imagined this entire senario where we got married our kids were little white bastards but I didn't mind none."

Also seriously where the fuck is the Asian liberation army? Did anyone happen to see that fucking panda add on the superbowl? Yes pandas with very bad accents. Original thanks guys. I'm pretty sure AD agencies are all ran by people who got brutally manhandled by a Korean kid in StarCraft. The mentality seems generally the same. "Asians aren't people who would be offened like anyone else with any sort of pride or anything. They're just robots + really attractive girls, and store owners!" You know those guys say nigger or gook for a good 80% of their conversations on BNet. The typical sentence on these servers is something like "FUCK NIGGER GOOK CUNT GOOK SHIT NIGGER" I don't know which is the object there. I'm pretty sure shit might be a verb.

Love, Your portly Asian Compatriot Derrick Long.

2008-02-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

Scene from "My Left Foot". Go see it, if you haven't seen it yet.

To All Beard Lovers, Remorse!

2008-01-25T17:18:00.000-08:00

So Ive begun my baby steps into what appears to be the next 4-20 years of my life by finally getting a hold of the Air Force recruiter. After a rigorous screening of my character by question (questions from do you have any kids, have I ever smoked crack, or am I registered to vote)I have set up a date to take the ASVAB with the Air Force. On the same day in question, I have also been hired by Ruby Tuesday on ceder road. Your looking at the new cook. Simple, Fresh, American dinning. Because of this, I am forced to shave my beard. Cooks can't have any facial hair what so ever. I would like to say I'm sorry to any and all of my beard fanatics that are out there, for at least the next few years it shall never be seen again. Use this picture of it, when it was in its prime to help get you through these hard times afoot.

Huckle-Buck

2007-12-11T21:43:00.000-08:00

I've been studying for the past 48 hours for tests pretty much straight. Right now John Milton is fucking some Mexican whore in the ass saying "A me mi gusta (Whatever the word is for your tight ass in Spanish.) Sus something I suppose. Anyway in the midst of reading the beast that is paradise lost while doing papers and learning various ways to decline things I don't care about I suddenly began to feel like writing. So I started another short story which I think sucks ass and when it's done I'll probably slap it on here for feedback in lieu of my usual method of sending it out through aim to the various jerks I know. Have I mentioned that taking this many credits was one hell of a mistake. I didn't really realize until exam week how completely raped I was going to be. And Jesus I'm starting to sound like Mike Tyson with all the ass rape talk. Anyway, I just felt like posting to give myself a bit of a break from Milton, and Swift double teaming Spaniards in my mind. Swift was proper so I guess he'd do take the vadge. In other news now I am free to stab myself with rusty nails like never before. Lockjaw be damned, I have been vaccinated. I'm going on about 3 hours of sleep for the past couple of days. Here's to hoping I drive my car into some deep dark ravine. If not I am rather excited to once again have friends for the holidays. Mi amigos, yo quiero abrazo ustedes! That's supposed to be my friends I want to embrace you. But I'm pretty sure the grammar is all fucked. Anyway, Good Night and Good luck, Or Good Morning you know whatever.

Ive been studying oh so long.

2007-12-10T19:15:00.001-08:00

Im going home to the peake this thursday for christmas break. Though I enjoy going home and seeing my friends, a part of me can't stand it there. Theres nothing to do but spend money, which I have very little. It also just seems like a reminder of the life I once had when I was happier and things weren't as stressful than. I had my whole life ahead of me, and now I can't seem to figure out anything to do with it. Not to mention Ive worked my ass off and the results are complete crap. Am I just bitching like a little girl with a skinned knee? I dunno.
In other news, Ive shaved my head, and the beard is gone. Ive also bought the "orange box" with the little money I have, and find myself playing Team Fortress II every night that I can. This may effect my final exam grades. Oh well, this break I get to see "there will be blood" and play a hell of a lot of guitar hero III.

What will those silly Muppets think of next?

2007-11-27T13:56:00.000-08:00

What I would give for this album. First of all, I already have a strange obsession with all things Sesame Street. I really love things with Cookie Monster. This is a play on Bruce Springsteen's "Born to Run" to the late ones. Ive found it on ebay a few times now for pretty cheap, but I don't have a job so I try to avoid buying unnecessary products (as I finish a Rolling Rock, and go to smoke a cigarette).

Curry with mint leaf action

2007-11-20T22:32:00.000-08:00

I felt compelled to post here because well honestly I didn't want to do anything else I could possibly waste my time with. I'd like to continue reading "Haunted" but the story guts made me vomit the last time I tried. On one hand I'm really shocked that someones imagery could be so good as to make me physically sick. I grinned as I vomited directly into the faculty toilet at ODU. I can only pray that my theater teacher sat on some left over stomach acid on the seat and irritated her anus. That bit of itching sensation would be a glorious divine punishment for creating a slew of ambiguous questions on her tests. But, I digress.

Right now I should be writing several papers, finishing my portfolio or at least trying to become not such a shit writer. I've got 350 pieces of writing in my polluted little "my documents folder" and I'm pretty sure there's maybe three I like. I don't really understand if I'm any good at writing but the people who read it seem to enjoy it at least in a passing sense. And that's good enough for me. The real pluses to the ODU writing classes really aren't seeing better writers as your peers (atleast not yet, I really do not understand how some people can write fiction on such boring subjects or say the word cum 15 times in a paragraph). Interesting side note here apparently "cum" is a acceptable spelling now at least by this blog's spell checker. Lets hear it for porn sites bringing that spelling out into the spotlight. Anyway, the main plus is the speakers you get to listen to. Plus my teacher isn't Mr.Alley, so you don't hear the phrase "That's really good" Directly following a poem that sounds like something a pissed off 6th grader scrawls on a bathroom door. I mean you still hear it in regards to almost everything (But here you don't have to see someone struggling to smile while saying it so much I guess)thus my own paranoia in regards to my writing. I'm well aware I don't have the talent or intelligence to be remembered as a classic writer. Or a best seller, or any of that shit I just want to one day write a story some kid can tell another person about and say "Yeah it was really good you should read it it's by this dude named Long" and thats it. When I'm rotting somewhere, or ashes, or having my eyes pulled out by crows, or my body is used as a extremely unsightly door stop, I think I'd be fine with it if I could just have something out there worth reading, or seeing ,or talking about. You know aside from the handful of people that will wistfully remember "Yeah that chubby Asian kid with the webbed toes" or "That gay dude with the sweater vests" possibly "That guy who waved at me when he vomited outside best buy", "That cocksucker who Boo'd me with some bald dickhead". I mean don't get me wrong these are all great achievements. And it's not really the legacy concept it's just that writing seems so very attractive. It's sort of like finally realizing those childhood fantasies of telepathy. Inserting just the right thing into someones mind with symbols from years, and miles away and instilling some reaction. That was both a idiotic romantic view of writing and also a explanation to why I'm a virgin. The first thing I associate writing with is Professor X and the fat cop on heroes.

I apologize for wasting your time with such dribble but if you're reading this, I can rest assured you are either some sort of spam robot who wants to tell me about a great offer or someone who would've probably just spent these few minutes being a total asshole anyway. So you should thank me for helping you be decent at least for the period of time you were enthralled in my bitching and moaning. I'll post one of my stories up here if someone tells me they want to read one. I won't hold my breath. And don't expect too much if I do. Well do expect a lot of mechanical errors. And syntax. Fuck your syntax son.

Also if you fine fellows have some free time I suggest you watch Dexter. It follows the books pretty well if you ever read them, the casting is awesome and despite some of the more corny sayings regarding someones "dark side". It's a fucking awesome show. Also if any of you saw heroes and little Hiro with the plastic sword, yeah that was the cutest shit ever. If I see that little nip out on the street I will grab him then force him to repeat the phrase "I'm Takezo" while making me pancakes and shit. I mean I suppose eventually I'd sexually abuse him, before he gets all manly.

I wish I was Japanese just so I could say "YATTAH" after doing things. I mean Makonichi Ippo does it after K.O.ing a bitch the mighty Hiro Nakamura does it, what more reason do you need. Oh well. At least me and Hiro both make those highly unattractive upside down smiley faces with our eyes when we smile.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll see all my friends. It'll be weird talking to people for any other reason then to say "Hey what'd we do yesterday" or someone overhearing me say "Jesus Christ" when I see that particularly attractive girl in English 200. I would work a terrible job 50 hours a week, slaughter livestock to a pagan god, take a power sander to my testicles and build a bridge across the ocean with the limbs of children and loved ones for a kiss from that girl. I'd love to talk to her but theres the overwhelming possibility my perception could be shattered. Or worse yet, she'd actually talk to me and the natural process of me revealing my asshole in its entirety would take place. Once again if you wish to get some recompense for the time you lost for reading this you can find me at 3713 cypress mill rd. You can either punch me in the face, play thumb war with me for the amount of time you spent reading this, or beat me with a pillowcase full of soda cans. Filled ones of course.

2007-10-31T07:45:00.000-07:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20071028/ap_on_fe_st/odd_bigfoot_in_pa

They believe they have a good picture of big foot.

Its halloween and I have a class until 9:45. Oh and I have an exam in the morning at 9:30 that I need to study for. :(

I have a tattoo of kermit the frog.

required readings

2007-10-24T20:42:00.000-07:00

So I am currently enrolled in a class where we watch films with historical basis. VCU offers a wide selection of different parts of history. I took the class hoping that my love for film and history would mix in perfect harmony. The class im taking is on Korea and the War in Vietnam. I must say that I was pretty excited to see the list of possible films we would be watching, for Doctor Strangelove was on the list, and is one of my favorite movies. The problem with the class is, the teacher. Ive taken a class with Tunnel before and decided that he was too harsh, and graded too unfairly to take him again. After time had gone by though, I started to think that he might now be such a bad guy. Of course now that im being taught by him again, im bitter again. In a weeks time I have to read a good 600 plus pages from two books. Thats just for the one class. Part of it is my fault, because I didn't go to class last week, and didn't check the reading list to see if I had to start a new book. The book im supposed to be reading this week "Fields of Fire" by none other than Virgina Senator Jim Webb, is still I believe to be too long to read in a weeks time, seeing as I have other things to do for other classes. The book I have to read within the next three days is "Dispatches" by Michael Herr, the co-writer too "Apocalypse Now" and "Full Metal Jacket". The book is based on his time in Vietnam as a journalist. I must say that being about sixty pages into it, the book is pretty brutal. Both the story and his writing style. The way the book flows, its easy to loose what he is talking about. The story it self is brutal as well. I must say that I am not a big fan of reading about Vietnamese women being raped, and than shot while their villages burn. Oh well, I just have to get through one more class and alot of reading, and this saturday will be here.

real ghostbuster

2007-10-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

I had that toy proton back, as with the toy trap. I got them both one year as a birthday gift from my father. I also had a brown jumpsuit with a ghost busters II patch on the right sleeve. Ive turned 22 and Ive realized that, that was a good 17 years ago when I got that. I wish I still had that jumpsuit, only my current size. I never got the watch, nor can I make the face that the kid with glasses does when he says "free?".

peanuts and homosexuality

2007-10-20T07:48:00.000-07:00

There is a new biography coming out on the life of Charles Schultz, the creator of the beloved comic strip "The Peanuts" that has created a small controversy. According to the author David Michaelis, and his research of six years, 200 interviews, and thousands of comic strips that Schultz suffered from depression. The family Schultz is, of course very unhappy with the book, and claim that he was the complete opposite. I find this in a way, sort of amusing that:
1) why are they really that upset? does him suffering from a disease make him a bad person?
2) Look at the main character, Charlie Brown. I always found it weird in a way that a children's character (at least the cartoon is for children) would be as depressed as Charlie is. It makes sense to me.
I plan on reading this book when I get the chance.

J.K. Rowling at a recent college reading told fans that, Yes Dumbledore is homosexual. Having read the books multiple times, I kind of sensed this all along, even though I can't point my finger at one clue that says "hey, hes gay". This too, of course, has created a major controversy. I don't see the big deal in all seriousness. Im sure parents feel that their children will read this and they don't want their children to "be brainwashed" or some other bullshit, but come on. This of course will give the Christan right more things to hate the books for. "It promotes witch craft and butt fucking! Jesus save us all from damn nation! Save us from the children's book!"

2007-10-15T11:45:00.000-07:00

I stole this from George Cox's live journal, which I was reading instead of writing my paper.

1. What was the first thing you thought about when you woke up?
wheres my ciggs....fuck its 11:30

2. What did you do last night?
watched "The Pirates of Silicon Valley"

3. What is the most important part of your life?
showering?

4. What would you rather be doing right now?
doing anything with anyone, I don't want to write no paper.

5. What did you last cry over?
I cried when I watched Zach get shot by the spartan laser.

6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset?
cigarette

8. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other?
as long as they don't annoy me

9. What are you worried about?
school, money, im fat.

10. What are you looking forward to most in this week?
Owen is thursday!

NINE HAVE YOU’S:

1. Have you ever liked someone while you had a girlfriend/boyfriend?
no

2. Have you ever had your heart broken?
yes, one time I got hit in the chest with a baseball, and I went to the doctor, and he said "son with these x-rays we've seen that baseball has broken your heart" so he gave me this ointment that smelled like fried biscuits, but after a week my heart was all better.

4. Have you ever been out of the country?
no

5. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb?
hang out with me sometime.

6. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend?
who hasn't

7. Have you ever had the cops called on you?
yes

8. Have you ever dated someone younger than you?
yes

9. Have you ever read an entire book in one day?
no

EIGHT WHO’S:

1. Who was the last person you saw?
brian/jason

2. Who was the last person you kissed?
I don't remember anymore its been so long.

3. Who was the last person you texted?
I don't get texts

4. Who was the last person to call you?
Brain

5. Who was your first crush?
good god, I can't remember

6. Who is the last person who texted you?
see number 3

7. Who is the last person you freaked out on?
apparently it was jeff and katie at the party.

8. Who did you last hug?
probably jackie.

SEVEN WHEN’S:

1.When was your last shower?
last night

2. When did you last see your mom?
last sunday

3. When was your last time u saw your dad?
same

4. When did you last dress up?
everytime we have a party baby.

5. When was the last time you cried?
I think when me and andy watched "Mchales Navy" the movie with tom arnold.

6. When did you last go to the movies and with who?
Kevin, Katie, Andy, and I saw Superbad.

7. When did you last listen to music?
I don't like music.

SIX WHERE’S:

1. Where does your best friends live?
Norfolk/Richmond.

2. Where did you last go?
The Village. It made me smell like shit all day.

3. Where did you last hang out?
my room. like always.

5. Where is your favorite place to be?
I dunno, a bar when we all actually go out.

6. Where did you sleep last night?
in a pile of clothes.

FIVE DO’S/DOES:

1. Do you like someone right now?
I fall in love with every women I meet.

2. Do they like you too?
are you fucking kidding me?

3. Do you ever wish you were someone else?
not really, If I were someone else, im sure deep in my psyche I would still be the same neurotic person.

4. Do you know the muffin man?
The muffin man?
The muffin man?
Who lives on....ok I don't know it that well.

5. Does the future scare you?
no, what I will be in the future worries me.

FOUR WHY’S:

1. Why are you best friends with your best friend?
because they seem to like me.

2. Why did you get a myspace?
I made that shit so long ago, who knows.

3. Why did your parents give you the name you have?
They named me after my dads uncle who was a vet of two wars, and im also named after my mothers cousin......I hate my fucking name.

THREE IF’S:

1. If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
oh my god, the hardest question you could ask me. Do I go with Flight? The ability to banter well with villains? I think overall though I would want to be like magneto, and control all metal.

2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you?
I could only pick one?

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring one thing what would it be?
maybe alot of sam adams?

TWO WOULD-YOU-EVER’S:

1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you?
the person I am now would say no, but you never know how I would feel if it actually happened. Which im sure it won't because all the Succubus's got what they needed from me and moved on.

2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love?
I already shave my head.

ONE LAST QUESTION:

1. Are you happy with your life right now?
do you know me?

Already Already

2007-10-09T20:39:00.000-07:00

So I promised Steven I'd post again. So I am. I know, outstanding isn't it? I'm in the middle of writing a story that thus far has no point at all. Originally I thought up this entire complicated plot and wrote about 3 pages on it then I read it in its entirety. Then I vomited all over myself and deleted it. So now I'm trying to make it somewhat respectable before class tomorrow. I feel obligated to mention right now that all the assignments due tomorrow will be printed on hot pink and yellow paper since Camile decided it would be good to cut up all my white paper. She used the ever powerful "Here I made this fo you" defense, as she showered me and my room in the majority of my printer paper.

So for any females that might think the guy wearing the pink shirt and sweater vest might still be straight, take a gander at the hot pink print-outs he's dishing out. I think I'll just tell anyone who asks about it that they are fliers for a rave. A rave in my homosexual anus.

Anyway not much is new. I've been running alot lately just to kill time because honestly I have no social interaction at all these days. The most talking I probably do is to myself when stuck in traffic on my way to ODU. Here I chat up a storm with such classics like "FUCKING SQUID CUNT, SUGARBALLSACK, MOVE I COMMAND YOU TO MOVE" Then I strain really hard with my hands on my temples like I'm in fucking scanners.

In conclusion I went into a blind Asian rage when I saw the white man trying to be Takezo on Heroes kiss the Japanese girl Heiro has fallen for. First they kill his white girl and now they give the prettiest girl in Japan to a Englishman? Fuck. And by blind Asian rage I guess it means that my eyes were merely obstructed by rice and visions of panda bears.

2007-10-06T14:54:00.000-07:00

I must say that the Halo 3 multiplayer bug has taken hold of me. I need the shot for that which doctors have yet to find the cure.

What I overheard today in Hibbs

2007-10-03T14:59:00.001-07:00

"So my sister kept trying to get me to eat this jelly from 1789, and I said no! Im not going to eat the jelly...because it was from 1789"

Is it too early to be excited?

2007-10-02T19:10:00.000-07:00

Only once in a young man's life does he turn 22. Yeah, I know, turning 21 is more "important" and "noteworthy" but I must say that my 21st was kind of a downer. To try to fix this debacle, Ive decided to host a party in, well, my honor. I want to try to make up for last years lameness that was my 21st birthday. The thing that could make this crazier than any other party that I have hosted/co hosted is that I have been confirmed that a keg will be in this apartment for the first time.

thats right, anyone that wants to come, and join in on the festivities must do a keg stand of at least five seconds. If not, I may ask you to leave, or kick you in the ass the rest of the night while calling you a "fag". This will be one of the few events that shall take place. I plan on wearing a full blown suit. I plan on bringing back team fatt dad to fuck up some bitches in beer pong. Team fatt dad may also take on challenges in slap the bag. Or maybe just kick everyones asses in flip cup. I know this all sounds immature, but hey as of right now im never celebrating my day of birth ever again. Im just looking forward to the fact that at least six dudes will be asleep on my living room floor when the night is over. Maybe we can build a fort or something.

Triumphant Returns and New Addictions

2007-10-01T16:10:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that blogs are cool again. Based on this news I am returning to the Nina, Pinta, Santa Maria, and the Indians as well as the Fish Wrapper which is now called Dafish Wrapper (tentatively adjusted to appeal to the kids.) Also, this is to steve, I concede that I am a hypocrite - HOWEVER, I am working to rearrange this so that I am a hypercritic instead. To begin:

I'd like to admit to my addiction to the online multiplayer of Halo 3. How are you suposed to stop playing this game?! I am completely bewitched. I even find myself befriending the disembodied voices of lonely mid-night gamers. WHAT THE FUCK. I'll never forget the time I was brutally murdered, pistol whipped even, and when the character picked up my weapon I heard a shrill child's voice scream, "I GOT THE SPARTAN LASER!!!!" I got the spartan laser....indeed you did, indeed you did.

GOD BLESS AMERICA

Top Five

2007-09-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

Ive been thinking recently since my brother asked me what the top five songs are about a girl. I think I will attempt to answer that question. However, I will not put it in order accept for what I believe is number one. The list is as follows:

The Faces- Oh la la (I think it still counts as being about a girl, that is however up for debate.

Cold Play- Moses

The Isley Brothers- This Old Heart of Mine

The Clash- Train in Vain

and number one is hands down

The Fours Tops- Bernadette

Binky the Clown

2007-09-25T11:39:00.000-07:00

I have 20 minutes until my Italian class starts, so in my normal fashion, im going to debate skipping class while watching something pointless. For today, I came across the Garfield Halloween Special. When I first put it on, I was under the impression that I've never seen it before. After the first few seconds however, memories of Binky the Clown have come back in my nostalgic state. I seem to recall various things from this episode, like Binky the Clowns slightly annoying voice yelling "Candy, Candy, Candy!" Ive come to the decision that I should be Binky for Halloween because I can, I believe, do his voice perfectly. I know this because I just woke Zach up yelling my impression.

"Arr, I be Orange beard the pirate..and this be my first mate...Artie the Stupid"
I do find it weird that John would let his pets go trick or treating all by themselves. There are undesirables about.

2007-09-21T11:52:00.000-07:00

Strange things happen alot when you get some 40's and my five friends together in one room. Somehow either
A) Some dumb debate will break out that usually makes the others watching laugh, or makes everyone else in a pissed off mood, thus ruining our 40 night.
B) Two people usually stand outside and talk to each other about how we were sorry we did something earlier in the week that pissed the other off, and that they shouldn't of done that because were such good friends.

Its kind of funny in both situations when you wake up the next morning and remember what conversation happened, because in both situations the two parties normally don't acknowledge either of the examples. Especially B because, I guess us being guys we don't want to look "gay".
Im going to JMU today for Adam McPherson's annual birthday party. Pray for me.

Rome must be defended

2007-09-19T00:23:00.000-07:00

Has it really been a year since the last time I (or anyone else) has posted? Wow. Well, what to say really? What has happened to me in the past year has been alot, but Im sure could be summed up in a few sentences. Im still a bald man, but for the past five months or so, I have been un-bearded. This has, of course, changed for I decided a few weeks ago to regrow it. This decision was hard to make, for without the beard, no one really has questions of my age. With it, however, people in bars and 7-11 when im carded to purchase my various alcoholic beverages always say "you were really born in 85? I thought by looking at you, you were at least 35"
I am somehow now 12 credits away from being a senior. This is strange to me, because for my history degree requirements, I know I'll still be in school for another year and a half at least. Not to mention that my first six months here, I practically almost failed all of my classes because of various depressions, which I tired to fix with drinking massive amounts of beer and vodka (instead of doing homework) which than led to more depression. Ive met a lot of people, which one will do when they enter a real college, but I still have the same three friends. The only additions I could say that have entered my small circle of friends were Jessie and Andy (which I love just as much as Alex and Zach)
Living with Zach this past year has been interesting, to say the least. For the first three months or so, it seems like all we did was bitch at each other. Now I am glad that I have him for a room mate. I think this was in part my getting used to living with someone who wasn't like me, and him getting used to my random "I just want to be left alone, and if not I'll just be an asshole to you" phases I sometimes get in. We now seem to have an understanding of each others "way of living".
I don't really know why I am updating this, for no one will really read this. I was just reading over some of the old posts, laughing, and remembering the old times, and I thought that maybe I could bring it back to life if I tell people that its been posted on again. I doubt Zach will like the idea, for hes so busy now a days. Hopefully we can go into the woods again, maybe during winter break. I will try my best to get Alex and Derrick in on the adventure (and Im sure that Zach and Sage will love the idea)
I guess I should attempt to add something humorous to this post, or people will tell me Im a bitch, or something. Im taking Italian 101 this semester, which I hate so far. I love the idea of learning another language, but high school doesn't only making learning a language shitty. No my friends, dare I say that College is worse. Anyway, so the other day I was sitting outside of the class against the wall, waiting for my class to start, and I was just catching up on some of my reading when a girl approached me. This is a rare event in my life, for when im not around friends, im pretty introverted. This girl is a freshmen, and is in my class, though Ive never talked to her. The conversation goes something like this:
Freshmen Girl: Your name is Steve right?
Steve looking up from book: Yeah
Freshmen Girl: My Names....(I forgot her name right after she said it) What are you reading?
Steve: "Where the Domino Fell"....its quite boring and pointless
Unknown Named Girl: That sucks, are you a history major?
Steve: yeah
Girl: That Cool! I guess you really like history, huh?
Steve: Not really
Girl: Do you read alot?
Steve: I usually read until my eyes bleed, than I have to write a paper about the eye bloodied book with my opinions on the subject. I than put a lot of work into the said paper, which when my teacher returns it, I get a low B because all college history teachers really don't care with what anyone else has to say. They are too involved with their own bullshit they are trying to write about.
Girl: What year are you?
Steve: I'll be a senior in the spring
Girl: Thats cool.
We than entered class which she looked at me like I should sit near her, so like the dumb ass I am, I sat in the back. Of course I kicked my own ass later for spouting all that bullshit about how college has made me hate history, and not sitting near her. Today, however, she talked to me again outside the class. She asked if I knew what we were doing today(which is a dumb question for its on the fucking syllabus that we have to have for the class) which I responded with a mumbled " I unno" She than sat next near me in the class and caught her staring at me a few times. I need to stop being a fucking idiot, try to remember her name, and talk to her. Im sure I won't though.
This post wasn't short at all.....im sorry I lied. I should do my homework.

2006-09-22T13:24:00.000-07:00

Copernicus, I hear the popes not to happy about what you said about the universe. If I were you I would hide low for awhile

Our Apartment

2006-08-06T14:58:00.000-07:00

is everything I pretty much everything I hoped it would be. Im now drinking my first cup of coffee in my own place. And its soooo good.

Richmond

2006-07-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

I shall be there in one days time. Kevin and alex best hang out or im deleteing you from life.

thursday

2006-07-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

Dear Journal,

There is a monster that has moved in downstairs. Its snarls drift up through the floorboards along with muffled guitar riffs sounding similar to heavy metal renditions of work songs. The monster has begun to practice his kettledrums in preparation for the war that is sure to follow. As of yesterday he has begun to send his minions to my door. “To my door” is a generous understatement; it is after all only one of many entryways they take advantage of. The roaches writhe and wriggle through the hollow walls and come dripping out of splits in the paint like water from a leaky faucet. A roach faucet. One got me in the bathroom. I was cornered, or I was in a corner rather, when it snuck up and fish hooked my lip dragging me to the floor. Once down it danced on my face performing some bizarre mating ritual rubbing its pestilent feelers up and down my eyelids. I smashed it with the current issue of game informer. That was the last straw. I went downstairs to look the monster in its eye/s. When the elevator arrived at the second floor the monster had already gathered the evidence and fled. A note was posted on the door that read, “ Please believe me when I tell you it is a dirty job being a monster. I will be back after a brief vacation to kill your friend.” The cautionary last line left me more annoyed than confused. Which friend had upset the monster to such an extent? Perhaps this villain had made a mistake in targeting me. Nevertheless the grounds for war had been set and it was time for me to ready the artillery.

2006-07-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

my stomach feels weird. Thats what I get for drinking coffee at 11:30 at night. I drank way too much last night and said somethings I shouldn't have and probubly offended some people. Zach will hate that I was drinking again. I gotta get up in the morning and go to the bank so they can hopefully weiver our virginia power deposit. Shit I also need to look into renting a truck. Peggy Sue just came on. Im really bored/ questioning myself when im alone in my room not having anyone to talk too. Zach needs to hang out with me soon so we can figure out this truck bullshit. I think my monitor is dying, and I don't want to get a new one, there costly. 15 more days and Ill be picking up the keys to my new life. 52 more days and its week one football again. My friends don't like football but we should cookout anyway and watch the game. Drink some beers, eat some burgers, watch me yell at the tv alot. I need more boxes to pack more of my sweaters that im keeping. I need to get rid of alot of my t-shirts I never wear. I need at least two more pairs of jeans. Im hungry.

Its a buyers market

2006-07-15T08:03:00.000-07:00

Today i went garage saling with my mother for the third weekend in a row. It was awesome of course, you knowing buying other peoples things for a much cheaper price than a thrift store, and at least now you can see who you are buying from, if its a shitty house or shitty looking people, you dont go, its that simple.

But anyways today i made the bargain of a lifetime. Two matching lamps, they were awesome and magnificent and all that shit, but they were each two dollars, and i had four dollars but i was all like "ill give you 3.00 for both the lamps". that wasnt good enough for her no she wanted more. i said "3.25". denied again, fuck. "alright, 3.50 is my limit or you can keep your other shitty lamp and ill take the one". but she was obviously concerned on losing the sale and settled. as my mother and i were driving away in the minivan relishing in our glorious bartering skills, the woman flicked me. fuck her, fuck this. this was all a lie. i really only got the one lamp.

What James Joyce would call a Stream of Conscienceness

2006-07-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

I need to quit smokeing. I ate too much pizza, to the point where my stomach hurts. I miss ding. I haven't heard from lara in quite awhile, should I really care? Im literly counting down the days till I move in with zach. I need to go get the cursive tickets today. Theres a massive shit brewing in my stomach. I want to start working out again but im too fucking lazy. Life Aquatic is on starz. No one reads this blog anymore, and im sure zach will hate this entry. Lets pretend we don't need anything from anyone anymore. I need to start packing away clothes, getting rid of alot of clothes, and getting new clothes that I will wear. I keep spending money that I should be saving for richmond. Its nice to hear childern playing outside for a change. Its a beautiful day, and Im stuck here waiting on my brother. I think Ill go play oblivion, which I haven't touched in almost 2 months.

Summer is for Cookouts

2006-07-02T10:04:00.000-07:00

Ive recieved word that there will be a cook out today at the franklins. Is this what I live for? Yes it is. As your lawyer I suggest both zach and derrick go with me for this, where we can be the bullies of said event. "You gonna eat that chicken? My chicken now bitch!" Stuff like that...

Ernest goes to camp

2006-07-01T22:02:00.000-07:00

I chose the above title because the movie was obviously a worth while refrence.

Does anyone know how to spell "eggseroneous"? Like without sounding it out and making horribly stupid faces like I just did. Also what was the name of the wrestler in that bitch, I totally know there was one and he had a hard hat.

I'm pretty bored currently so I've taken to publishing mindless mental dribble. I'm pretty sure reading this will probably waste less time than the amount of hours you have spent clipping your toe nails. Me I'm not one of those "suckers" I just grow them out and use them to hunt big game, with my mighty raptor claws. Until some aussie motherfucker calls me a clever girl and shoots me, because unlike in the movie I am in fact not clever nor a girl.

Anyway as of late ive been reduced to watching an even more abnormal amount of cartoons and due to lack of sleep watching terrible terrible count downs. Like "Girls that kick tail greatest 100".

Also, I've watched mansquito, Revenge of Jolly Roger, Jeepers Creepers 2 and alot of far worse movies on sci-fi channel. I even explained all the great ups and downs of jeepers creepers 2 to steve. I mean motherfucker rips off his own head and eats some other guys and uses it. That is a instant classic if I've ever seen one.

On the up side I did manage to catch raising arizona at like 4 am. And I might attempt to lose some of this fatassery I have attained over the months of doing nothing. I'm still kinda deciding so far the only exercise I do is sleep with alot of covers on, and run downstairs to grab drinks. I mean if you sweat it's totally exercise right?

Put away the sword

2006-06-29T11:22:00.000-07:00

I was just caught in the shortest of swimming trunks by my neighbors. Worst, they came over while i was scanning over hugh hefners 4th of july photos from last years playboy... oh but thats not it, to accentuate the awkward confusion in the air i was also listening to TLC on the radio. Fortunatley i had an interview magazine with me at the time, which i stuffed the playboy into and quickly sprinted inside.

They are still out there, now eating icecream on the deck. Im jealous. Pizza for me. Fucking neighbors.

I need.

2006-06-17T16:01:00.000-07:00

I wanna play the adventures of Lo Lo

Fantastic

2006-05-29T11:47:00.000-07:00

I must say the graves family BBQ was a success. Alex and zach had an in depth chat with a young lad about evoultion, gravity, and making traps out of grass and poopy. I had alot of chicken, and too many vaults.

I like my cookouts rare with the guts dangling off of the edge.

2006-05-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

yes, it is time for the annual Grave's family memorial day cookout/seasonal pool opening. Last year I went even though Zach had work. I ate chicken wings in his room so as to aviod his awkward asian cousins who had previously made me watch an anime music video for 99 red baloons. This year Zach is off of work, NO BRAD THE MARINE, and hopefully good weather and a clean pool. I just wish steven hadn't killed himself so he could have enjoyed this event along with us.

Life Goes On

2006-05-23T06:05:00.000-07:00

Well what can I say? I talked to lara yesterday, and I feel much better. I actually slept last night. After I got off work last night I went to her house, and we went on a walk. Basicly I told her that I want to give her some space like she asked, meaning that I don't think I can be her friend at the moment. However I did tell her that I will always be there for her, and she can call me 24 hours a day if she needs anything. I also told her that when she does what she needs to do that Ill be waiting for her.

I just want to thank you guys for everything. Zach defently for hanging out with me, because its made me feel alot better. I just need to get to richmond now so we can have bbq's on fridays, and I can drink all the beers.

wha?

2006-05-20T19:22:00.000-07:00

All I ever wanted was to be happy and be with this

I put everything I had into her and all I got was this

When zach thinks I should get over it and do this

I just wanted to marry her.

grey lines

2006-05-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

Jedlowski days are looking dark and dreary. He kneels beside a well, protecting it from intruding savages. He's finally been shot and his horse is dead. Frederic Remington illustrates his demise. Rest in peace fellow argonaut.

Hey bedroom eyes!

2006-05-03T06:13:00.000-07:00

Bullshit Burger King, wouldnt accept my credit card, fuck them, fuck I wanted a whopper.

I want to steal that kids burger,ugh its time for angry pop music.

The Capes-Fracophile(ver1.5)(mp3)

I vow you will die at my sword!

2006-05-01T20:15:00.000-07:00

While looking through the unknown wastes of Google for some Gilgamesh information I stumbled upon these two young men who have taken it upon themselves to write a few songs about the epic. It's amazing, sort of... you'll see.

Tony Garone and Anthony Garone Jr- Bull of Heaven(mp3)

2006-04-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

"you see that mom? haven't shaved in three days, you see those?"
"mmm, they look like little pimples, like little ingrown hairs."
"what?! nononono, ugh."

i guess beards arent my thing yet.

Silvertones-True Confession(mp3)

2006-04-06T11:10:00.001-07:00

Im proud to announce that I will be living with Dr. Zachary Graves this fall in richmond,va

2006-03-31T06:04:00.000-08:00

Which Wes ANDERSON character are you? by life_as_a_decoy
Your name
Your favorite color
Favorite letter
In your free time
Your age
You are

Quiz created with MemeGen!

by crom

2006-03-25T08:51:00.001-08:00

I want to go in the woods so badly right now. Not my woods though, I've explored everything. I want to go somewhere else,walk in the woods, be hungry, eat a trailmix bar, continue on. I want to go with a party of people. No complaining, no talking, just grumpy adventurers. Spears in hand, one man with a hunting bow. Steve of course wants the hunting bow, but his accuracy sucks so we end up eating berries. We trudge on the next morning, avoiding all civilization. Blindly heading north to fight the Vanir and other Appalachian men.

2006-03-22T18:09:00.000-08:00

I wrote a poem about our adventures in the woods. The ending does include alex geting killed by a grizzly. I will post it when Im comfortable with some changes I want to make.

My fear keeps God a hiding

2006-03-21T15:27:00.000-08:00

I dont know if you've ever punched someone in the eye, I certainly havent. But I imagine the rush you feel probably equals the Infadels"Jagger'67" song. As you stand over your fallen enemy, this song blares behind you. Then the words fatality appear on the screen over your heads.

This song kicks ass, I want to say literally, but I can't. If steve were here right now i would have no choice but to punch him, id try to divert it to his jolly belly, but i cant make promises. Fortunatley for him, his absense will have to be replaced with sage's furry underside.

I dont know how i feel about the rest of the album, but i do know how i feel about 'Jagger'67' and its something violent.

Infadels-Jagger '67(mp3)

Cute Overload

2006-03-20T13:28:00.000-08:00

Hey Alex, where is the fishing video.

This is the Jai-Alai Savant, they obviously have a great song title. But more importantly launch the song really really well, in fact i think my favorite part about the song may be the first 15 seconds. The rest of the song is great too, so dont worry.

The Jai-Alai Savant - Scarlett Johansen Why Don't You Love Me(mp3)

2006-03-19T00:40:00.000-08:00

So i havent written here in a while. Ill keep this short. Today I saw Zach's name written on my desk in math. I wrote sucks next to it and a arrow pointing to his name. Now the people will know that Zach Graves infact sucks. Take that bitch!

2006-03-13T15:19:00.000-08:00

Alright, I think everyone should know that I did one of the most manly things I have ever done last night. My friend Nick kindly insisted we go to Lappers, in Portsmouth. If that isnt enough of a hint, Lappers is a lapdance parlor. Yes I went to one, I got one. It was awkward, and uncomfortable. And suprisingly exciting, I know it's very degrading, but I must admit it was fun. When you go to one, you expect it to be entirely sexual and to leave with a completely sexual feeling, and it IS completely sexual, but you end up leaving with a feeling as if youd just gotten off a rollercoaster, it's just such a rush. Anyways it's not something I would do again, but I must say it was definitley exciting and different.

I had the girl play Tom Petty's Breakdown. I wish they had some ZZ Top, but they didn't. HA.

When I got home lastnight at about three in the morning, this was the first song that I played.
We Are Wolves- We Are All Winners (mp3)

Man's best friend

2006-03-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

Steve couldnt hang out today, so i called up sage and we hung around.
We pretty much just messed around in the front yard and exchanged jokes, he had this hilarious one that involved a booger and pistachio ice cream.

Sage is way better that Steve, mostly because he never complains.

electric president-label my mind, blown(mp3)

alex ross does conan

2006-03-09T06:29:00.000-08:00

KU Jayhawks, soldiers go.

2006-03-08T10:12:00.000-08:00

frustrated.
where the hell is steve? it's wednsday. trilogy?
need to use bathroom
im cycling through my mp3s and i found an awesome one, but i dont remember where i got it.

Mark Lanegan and Isobel Campbeel-Deus Ibi Est(mp3)

Westfall.

2006-03-01T16:30:00.000-08:00

Alex for some reason thinks Of Montreal is better than Okkervil River. Now on a hot summer day I may have said the same thing, but in the dead of winter when beeps and plugs and sirens are just to annoying to bare, Okkervil River is obviously the better. Yes, Of Montreal has more catchy songs than Okkervil River, but overall they just get kind of dull. While Okkervil River leaves you with these amazingly strong songs, that when you hear the lead singer's ( Will Sheff) voice you just feel as if hes putting everything he has into each and every song, and when it ends you feel so exhausted as if you were singing it.

So, Alex is wrong. And besides the singer looks like 7th grade alex with no glasses on, I would know.

Nothing Important.

2006-02-28T19:37:00.000-08:00

I just listened to the entire Kinks,"school boys in disgrace" concept album while playing Age of Empires III against fourteen yearolds that fucking kick my ass everytime with grenadiers and fucking highlanders, not the McCloud highlander. But at least they are courteous.

how i attain victory.

2006-02-26T23:29:00.000-08:00

STEVE!

2006-02-26T18:44:00.000-08:00

Stop eating your children!

Spanish vs. English

2006-02-23T19:49:00.001-08:00

Get online you bastard, or get a cell phone so i dont have to worry about waking your parents. Jesus I want to play.

awesome

2006-02-21T20:48:00.000-08:00

the ending to one of the best games ever.

Toe Jam & Earl - Genesis

movin on up

2006-02-19T17:58:00.000-08:00

i wanna move to richmond, though I don't wanna leave lara behind. Im sick of this suburban cheapeake bullshit! I want to hear traffic when I wake up, and people talking outside my window. Im sick of seeing confederate flags on every other truck.

error

2006-02-17T07:08:00.000-08:00

When Han Solo was frozen in carbonite at Cloud City he was wearing an untucked, button down shirt. When Leia releases him from the carbonite at Jabba's Palace he is wearing a tucked in, double breasted shirt.

I never noticed, till now.

The fate o' Zachary Graves via Steve's girlfriend

2006-02-15T18:09:00.000-08:00

Torture is any act by which severe torment, whether physical or psychological, is intentionally inflicted on a person as a means of intimidation, a deterrent, revenge, a punishment, or as a method for the extraction of information or confessions (i.e. "third-degree methods" of interrogation).

The fate o' Steven Jedlowski

2006-02-14T05:09:00.000-08:00

Flagellation is the act of whipping (Latin flagellum, "whip") the human body. Specialised implements for it include rods, switches, and the cat-o-nine-tails.

I love me some Isaac Hayes

2006-02-11T09:15:00.000-08:00

mourn with me, my slavic friends.

2006-02-08T14:39:00.000-08:00

Devotchka-Dark Eyes(mp3)

Isn't that pretty

2006-02-02T13:05:00.000-08:00

Oh wow! I just totally stole two songs from a blog that I am totally gonna post here illegally. mhm they are good. Completely different but oh! so awesome.

this is Colin Blunstone and he is amazing, or maybe its just this song, but either way you really can't live without this song. When I listen to it I almost feel like I'm watching a bizarre children's movie involving cute things and Crispin glover. His website is reading "temporary unadvailable" so im not going to post the link. But here is the link for the glorious song.

Colin Blunstone- I Can't Live Without You

alright here is the second song, which is amazingly tough and playful. When you listen to it youll feel the urge to be like Ferris Buellar, yet with a James Dean attitude. And for this song I'm not going to post the link to their website simply because I'm too lazy, you can google it yourself, its not hard.

Pascal-Förbi fabriken

ok if you dont want to listen to the songs at least watch this spoof trailer of brokeback mountain created by the "chocolate cake city" kids at emerson college. its really really well done. thansk sterogum thanks CCC kids.

Peroxide Comics

2006-01-29T06:19:00.000-08:00

I just read the "Instant Douchebag" comic, and I must say the woody allen refence at the end is amazing.

Hrm and so fourth

2006-01-28T08:39:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted in a while. I could give you some bullshit like I was busy or something but to be honest it's for the same reason I dont ever answer my phone. I'm a fat lazy son of a bitch playing videogames, eating junk food and doing some bullshit spanish homework or some such non-sense. Coma esta, motherfucker then something blows up on my computer screen and i take a gulp of soda.

My intentions for posting here? Purely selfish I need some feedback on a bad poem I wrote for creative writting. I know I'm pretty bad, the grammar is horrible, and I am infact fat. So no need to point out these obvious flaws; just tell me if I should kill myself or not, or simply lop off my hands so my work no longer plauges humanity. The below is what i turned into my creative writting class, i'm pretty sure either a redneck or old woman is going to beat me to death.

Man has made many wonderful things and twisted them just as much as the worst of us can become.
Sex, has become a contact sport. Another conquest, not a expression of love but the domination of another.
Music, not a creation, not something we love, not a outpouring of emotion; but a sect, a club, belong or be banished. Merely another way to label people and resign them to categories you design.
God a source of light, hope, and morals? Now a tool to manipulate the faithful as it’s always been; but we keep falling for the same shit. MONEY NOW HEAVEN LATER! The preacher spews and we fall down the same cliff like Wild E. Coyote.
Religion has inspired more wars and murders than anything else known to man. The things we do in the name of our imaginary figure of choice would make most want to gouge their eyes out in disgust at our distain for anyone who disagrees with the following. Penis’s belong only in vagina’s, straights only, fags go to hell for defying the sacred rule of guy on guy is “gross“. SO SAYETH THE LORD. Our god is the only god, if you don’t believe in ours you’re going to hell because our forgiving omnipotent god is only forgiving to us, and will so burn your flesh off if you don’t go into the church and put a 20 in god’s tip jar.

Writing, one of the greatest break throughs man has ever made has not been unscathed by our general taint. We’ve turned something lovely into propaganda, 280 articles about some asshole celebrities diet ,and whatever books the scientologist’s look to for guidance into being bat shit crazy.
We ruin so many things that are so simple I’m astounded the microwave does not explode and end the lives of everything in a ten mile radius when I turn it on. I’m amazed more nuclear power plants have not melted down because someone thought when the rods are being replaced is a good time to take a nap. I’m amazed we could turn sunshine into soulless florescent lights and a summers rain into acid but not cure the common cold.

I know that thing is pretty emo and pretty bad. But forgive me or I'm going to shit on your car. Lastly this is for a assignment not my own enjoyment and so i bid you, Suck it DX style bitches.

World of Warcraft

2006-01-27T10:12:00.000-08:00

Its been two days since I last played, and my skin is starting to burn. Zach I suggest we hang out on Wednesdays from now on to help me get through this...we can play chess!

4.49 for the deluxe!

2006-01-24T15:37:00.000-08:00

mhm.

2006-01-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

were really getting this.

their going to the superbowl! are we putting up black and gold streamers? YES! are we replacing the american flag with the steelers flag? FUCK YEAH!

Sexy women meet me after work

2006-01-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

I wanna show you how I handle business.

Steve. Tomorrow or Wednsday?

George

2006-01-14T21:25:00.000-08:00

You know, I hate to say it, but I read a lot of pitchfork. I mean I read a lot of other things too, but I do read a lot of Pitchfork. Anyways I was of course checking out the new record reviews and came across the new George review. I read it, and found it so enticing I downloaded the entire album on emusic after one song. Its incredibly gentle when you play it, you'll end up simply wanting to lay in bed throughout the fifteen songs. Now Pitchfork is right in saying that like the first George album it is really sad music. Buuuut it doesn't give you that feeling when you listen to it. It makes me content about everything, not happy or ecstatic, it just enraptures you. Now that may be building up too much hype for the album but I'm sticking to it. So just listen.

George-My Fear Keeps God a Hiding(mp3)

Where the fuck is Steve

2006-01-12T20:09:00.000-08:00

I want to slay some human scum, but you aren't home yet. You are most likely makin out with some girls you pussy. Get home so we can lay siege to the white citadel.

dearest zackary

2006-01-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

your such an asshole.

War is hell

2006-01-07T22:15:00.001-08:00

I will cry myself to sleep tonight for the loss of my Calvery.

summer 99

2006-01-05T17:43:00.000-08:00

I think my social skills have completely disappeared. Phone conversations are awkward, meetings are more awkward. Too much time in my room, too much time watching mythbusters. I've been snacking on mint flavored mentos for the last hour.

Thankyou music(for robots), thankyou Metronomy. Behold.
Metronomy-black eye/burnt thumb(mp3)
please buy the EP, I already ordered it just from listening to this one song.

untitled I

2006-01-02T19:06:00.000-08:00

ate a lot of smokin sweet potato chips today. went in the woods. watched a movie with some good people. a lady and a hairy man to be specific. they left. i took a shower. i just watched sky high with kurt russel and bruce campbell. i have an awful headache now.
bored.

2005-12-28T14:38:00.000-08:00

I like it when people make lists of their favorite bands or mp3s of a specific year.

Im not gonna make a list though.

class on christmas break my ass.

2005-12-27T17:14:00.000-08:00

Where the fuck is Alex, that bitch better call me soon. Otherwise I'm gonna disqualify him from the best friend ring.bastard.

I ate UNOs today.mm.